Trauma Stewardship

How can there be laughter,
How can there be pleasure,
When the whole world
Is burning? When you
Are deep in darkness,
Will you not ask for a lamp?
-The Dhammapada

I have been mulling this quote over for two weeks, but found that it had a very profound effect on me in relation to a workshop that I recently attending about secondary trauma. Secondary trauma, sometimes called compassion fatigue or suvivor’s guilt or vicarious trauma, is often reserved for people within the helping profession, but the workshop asserted that this view is limited, that everyone, by virtue of living on this planet, witnesses trauma. The presenter, Laura van Dernoot Lipsky (author of Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self while Caring For Others) was dynamic, informative and challening (in a delightfully empathetic way).

 I am reading her book with three minds, or so it seems, as I process how do these ideas affect me (both in my personal and professional lives), how do, or could, these ideas affect my colleagues in the helping profession, and how do, or could, these ideas affect my clients?

I am often struck by the magnitude of trauma (in this case, secondary trauma) that our society experiences on a daily basis. How many of you have read the news of the Egyptian uprising this weekend and had a glimmer of concern for the people involved in the protests? How many have heard of local news, like car accidents, or joggers being attacked in parks, or the budget cuts hitting our state and local governement? Just this week I have specifically read a story about a whale with a broken back, a dog escaping his abusive owner only to get hung up on the fence by his chain and strangling to death, and a woman guard killed while doing her job. And these are just stories I read, what about all of the people that we come into contact with during the week who are struggling financially, emotionally, relationally, etc.? How do these stories, these experiences impact our lives? Perhaps there are some who are immune to these experiences of trauma, but I imagine that, more often than not, they affect us in profound ways, ways in which me may not even be aware of on a conscious level.

In thinking about my worth with clients, this line “I had absorbed and accumulated trauma to the point that it had become part of me, and my view of the world had changed” stuck out to me. For those who have sat in sessions with me, you might recognize my go-to phrase, “where did that come from?” as we explore our belief systems and the origins for much of our behavior (which I believe comes from our early life experiences and how they shape our worldview now).

I feel as though we often wait too long to address the affects of accumulated trauma in our lives. How often do we get to the point where we severely identify with the Dhammapada quote above? Where we wonder “how in the hell can anyone be enjoying this tv show about crime?” or “how can I even get out of bed today with all of the crap going on in the world?”

van Dernoot Lipsky creates a framework for working with, what she coins trauma stewardship, and while I won’t regurgitate the whole book here, what stuck with me was this mindfulness approach with the idea that “nothing has to change int he world for us to transform our own life experience.”

This transformation of our own life experience can be profound, and I am humbled to get to experience a profession where I can bear witness to other people transforming their own experience. But this book also inspires me to continually exploring and transforming my OWN experience, as a healing professional and as a person living on this planet. That despite the darkness that I might experience, it is important to ask for a lamp to light my way.

Featured Healer

Imagine yourself stepping into your own little sanctuary: the calm green walls are warmed by sunshine, the walls adorned with original artwork, and the room is filled with the scent of passionflower or jasmine or your own preference of aromatherapy. This is a place for healing, where you can rest, relax, and receive a thoughtful healing massage. Not only does this place exist, but it is just a few blocks away from Fox Counseling Seattle!

I want to introduce you to the talented, multidimensional Courtney Putnam, a licensed massage therapist, Reiki Master, artist, writer and teacher over at Rising Bird Healing Arts.

I have had the pleasure of experiencing healing massages from Courtney, as well as experiencing the creativity found in both her art and writing workshops. If you are trying to light your creative fire, then check out her upcoming workshop listings, they are certainly a treat! There is something magical about creating intentional art in a community led by such a talented (and humble!) artist as Courtney. She also sells her work online in an Etsy store, as well as at various Art shows…if you’re lucky you can take home a Putnam original!

Quarterly Courtney offers a special healing treat in the form of a 2 hour massage special, which often features guided writing exercises, a foot soak, a body scrub or the use of hot stones, depending on the theme for that season! I obviously could go on and on about the services that Courtney provides, but what I find to be the most healing is her quiet spirit that allows the space for clients to bring whatever they are going through into the session. As a therapist I admire her ability to bring a true holistic approach into her work, as she soothes the aches of the body and allows space for the healing of emotions in a beautiful way.

To keep updated on what Courtney’s up to, check out her blog The Healing Nest!

Choosing a Therapist

A few years ago I read a great National Geographic article entitled “Longevity: Secrets of a Long Life” where the reporter went around the world looking at what made people live a long time. He featured 7th Day Adventists here in America, people in Okinawa Japan, and those living in Sardinia Italy. Three different populations around the world that had all figured out how to live a long and healthy life.

What surprised me was the results. The 7th Day Adventists ate vegetarian meals and practiced a Saturday Sabbath. Those in Sardinia ate meat, cheese, bread and wine (not a diet that’s going to make it on The Biggest Loser anytime soon, eh?), and those in Okinawa ate a lot of fish and kept to the motto “eat until you are 80% full.” At the end of the day it seems like very different routes all lead to the same outcome: a long healthy life.

So what does this have to do with therapy?

Certainly there are particular methods of therapy that work better for different illnesses, but at the end of the day, it is my belief that the client has the ability to choose what works best for them. Japanese people are choosing the 80% full diet and are thriving, whereas they the Sardinians are choosing a cheese & wine laden diet. These two diets are very different than one another, and yet they lead to the same outcome, so can therapy be the same?

When I went to my first therapist, I had no idea what I was looking for. I sat through 4 or 5 sessions and then never came back. At first I thought that this experience was a waste of my time, but the next time I went to therapy I was much more assertive in asking for what I wanted. In our first session I laid out my former experience and said exactly what I needed. Was the first therapist a bad one? Certainly not! She just wasn’t a good fit, much like a vegetarian or cheese/wine diet wouldn’t be the right fit for everyone. So my challenge is for you to take a look at your values around therapy and make the empowered choice to work with a therapist that fits just right (and keep in mind, this make take a few therapist shoppings to figure it out!)

Try this:
Take a look at the reasons you’re wanting to go to therapy. Do you want to look at childhood, family, school or other early experiences and how they influence you? Are you interested in exploring spirituality? Do you want practical solutions and concrete examples of dealing with your problems right now or do you want to explore the root of the problems? Are you interested in exploring your thought patterns?

These are just a few of the questions to begin asking, so that you can interview your potential therapist to make sure it’s a good fit!

DBT House of Treatment

I think this image of the healing process is very powerful. When one is in the throes of an overwhelming emotional experience, it is hard to inhabit the place of ordinary happiness & unhappiness, let alone figuring out how to experience a capacity for sustained joy.